Joke thread

[gjohn85]

Originally posted by Black|Raven@Apr 12 2005, 09:59 PM
A woman walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doctor I hurt all over.â€

“That’s impossible,†the doctor replies.

“No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, Ouch! it hurts. When I touch my leg, Ouch! it hurts. When I touch my head, Ouch! it hurts. When I touch my chest, Ouch!! it really hurts.†she says.

The doctor shakes his head and says, “You’re a natural blonde, aren’t you?â€

The woman smiles and says, “Why, yes I am. How did you know?â€

The doctor replies, “Because your finger is broken.â€

Old but classic!

 

[gjohn85]

Q. What have the Starship Enterprise & a toilet roll got in common??




A. They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons!

 

[wigan_rlfc]

A Man goes Out one night and he picks up a Chinese Girl. She takes him home and says "So what You Want do?, I'll do anything". The man, feeling horny, says "How about a 69?". The Chinese Girl replies "f*** Off, I no cook at this time of night".

 

[Rassie]

Have you heard Mbeki died and left everything to the orphanage?
Oh , good for him. What did he left?
12 kids

In a restaurant, the customer ask the waiter:

- Qucik, give me two sandwitches, one with mustard, one without mustard

The waiter

- Which one with mustard?

 

[kinkon89]

Originally posted by Rassie@Apr 22 2005, 09:40 PM
What did he left?

lol

"what did he left?"....wat a freshy

"i dont give a care!"

 

[Spikey]

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a
wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent
the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him
as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat.
It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the
bottom of the ocean.
We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster
and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . please advise."
The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."


I know i know, it is cruel

 

[THE CHIROPRACTOR101]

Originally posted by Canadian_Rugby_Guy@Apr 7 2005, 01:48 PM
Well then. let's hear some SH humour and then we shall pass judgement.

what do ypu call a pretty tongan girl?

lucky


what do you call a pretty fijian?

one in a million

 

[Black|Raven]

what do you call a pretty samoan girl?

Asif

 

[THE CHIROPRACTOR101]

Originally posted by Black|Raven@May 4 2005, 11:03 PM
what do you call a pretty samoan girl?

Asif

as if i cud get with her

ive got plenty of these fob jokes...from this site i found...all these random islanders just mocking each other

...hella funny

the samoans win

 

[Black|Raven]

what do u call a white dude at ur front door?


MATT

 

[THE CHIROPRACTOR101]

Originally posted by Black|Raven@May 4 2005, 11:19 PM
what do u call a white dude at ur front door?


MATT

does it get any better then this?

 

[Black|Raven]

blah blah blah

 

[Spikey]

A Kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead."How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked him
"Becuase I ****** in it's ear and it didnt move" answered the child innocently
"You did WHAT??!!!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I went over and went 'Pssst'! in its ear and it didnt move.

 

[Spikey]

An exasperated mother, whos son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him,"How do you expect to get into heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well I'll run in and out and in and out, and keep slamming the door, until St Peter says,

"For heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay OUT!"

 

[gjohn85]

Why did the chicken walk across the playground???

To get to the other slide!

---------

It's so lame, it's funny (IMO)

 

[sambãd5]

whats better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?

not being a retard

 

[kinkon89]

what did the farmer say when he lost his truck?

..........wheres my truck?

 

[THE CHIROPRACTOR101]

....

*shakes head in dissapointment*

when u guys just post regurlarly u type some funny stuff..when u actually try to be funny...ITS WRONG!

wheres captain america and neh???

ill try find some funny photos and stuff for u guys

*sighs*

shakes head in dissapointment*

 

[Spikey]

Hey then why dont you post any GOOD jokes, we have tried and tested everythin, and we just dont seem to get to be as funny as some ppl. We try dont we??

 

[Black|Raven]

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"