I read your post as only talking about his effect on refs but parking that for a sec. The Slade intercept came in the 75th minute when Ireland were down by more that 7 points which is pretty much the time you should be forcing things. 2019 was a down year for Sexton but outside talk overall he wasn't in our top 5 reasons for the team slump that year.
With regards to the ref, people online make a big deal about Sexton being 'petulant' (I prefer narky, but to each their own) and how he'll hurt Ireland with the refs. However, you'll also see the same people saying Leinster and Ireland get away with murder at the breakdown or the scrum, and that Sexton is a diver who milks penalties or cards. This seems like a degree of doublethink to me. I understand a lot of people don't like Sexton and his natural speaking pitch does make it sound even worse but actual results and actions show me that refs have a great deal of respect for him. Barnes and Poite in particular seem to have good relationships with him, although it probably is the opposite with Gauzere. He has a great rugby brain and is often successful in getting refs to watch out for something we're not happy with. Sexton is also one of the only captains I've seen convince a ref to check something with the TMO that they weren't going to beforehand.
A lot of Irish fans were unhappy with Gardner yesterday. If Sexton was playing yesterday, I think non-Irish fans would have been ****** off about the way he was talking to the ref but Ireland would have had a decision or two more go their way. Overall, I just feel the Sexton being bad with refs narrative is one that's pushed based on the feelings of who's saying it rather than based off what's actually happening on the pitch.
I definitely am proud of the second half performance overall, we played possibly the best team in the world away without or star player and could have, should have, would have. There's some hugely promising signs that we're doing that well and still shooting ourselves in the foot at times but I'd still rather we weren't shooting ourselves in the foot.