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There is a difference, ad I suspect you know it. There was zero prospect of Farrell ever gettingin front of Laidlaw, but the crucial difference is this: usually, a blocking scrum half will actually be leaning back into his opposite number while making no attempt to pay the ball. In the incident we're talking about, Laidlaw simply held his line, made no attempt to physically impede Farrell, and Farrell reacted with a tantrum.
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I'm not sure what you're suggesting. How do you know he couldn't have known? The touch judge saw the knock on. Is it inconceivable that Cole did?
A shove in the back is hardly a tantrum but you keep trying to take some crumbs of comfort in what was another very ordinary performance at home from your rugby team.