TRFies 2014

[iINDOMINUSxx]

guys i think its time. since its nearly the 3rd off june who do you think will win what nomination

 

[UlsterRugby2012]

ImScotty for best northern and southern hemisphere poster.

 

[gaston le gaff]

guys i think its time. since its nearly the 3rd off june who do you think will win what nomination

Where do you live its still May in France!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[TRF_Olyy]

Did you buy your calendar off of a dodgy market or something?
Is it almost in twenteeth on Febtober?

 

[Groundhog]

Im Scotty for the 'best misinterpretation of a calendar' award

 

[Feicarsinn]

The Chestnut Tree was almost empty. A ray of sunlight slanting through a window fell on dusty table-tops. It was the lonely hour of fifteen. A tinny music trickled from the telescreens.


The armchair rugby fan sat in his usual corner, gazing into an empty glass. Now and again he glanced up at a vast face which eyed him from the opposite wall. IMSCOTTY IS WATCHING YOU, the caption said. Unbidden, a waiter came and filled his glass up with Victory Gin, shaking into it a few drops from another bottle with a quill through the cork. It was saccharine flavoured with cloves, the speciality of the cafe.

He stopped thinking about the thread. In these days he could never fix his mind on any one subject for more than a few moments at a time. He picked up his glass and drained it at a gulp. As always, the gin made him shudder and even retch slightly. As the gin rose in him he belched through purple lips. He had grown fatter since they released him, and had regained his old colour -- indeed, more than regained it. His features had thickened, the skin on nose and cheekbones was coarsely red, even the bald scalp was too deep a pink.

'Under the spreading chestnut tree

I sold you and you sold me --'

The tears welled up in his eyes. A passing waiter noticed that his glass was empty and came back with the gin bottle.

A shrill trumpet-call had pierced the air. It was the bulletin! Victory! It always meant victory when a trumpet-call preceded the news. A sort of electric drill ran through the cafe. Even the waiters had started and pricked up their ears.

The trumpet-call had let loose an enormous volume of noise. Already an excited voice was gabbling from the telescreen, but even as it started it was almost drowned by a roar of cheering from outside. The news had run round the streets like magic. He could hear just enough of what was issuing from the telescreen to realize that it had all happened, as he had foreseen; A grammatical quagmire. Vague references to meaningless dates. Child-like syntax and punctuation. Fragments of triumphant phrases pushed themselves through the din: 'Vast strategic manoeuvre -- perfect co-ordination -- utter rout -- complete demoralization of the forum -- control of the whole of board -- greatest victory in TRF history -- victory, victory, victory!'

Under the table the armchair rugby fan's feet made convulsive movements. He looked up again at the portrait of ImScotty. The colossus that bestrode the world! The rock against which the hordes of TRF dashed themselves in vain! He thought how ten minutes ago -- yes, only ten minutes -- there had still been equivocation in his heart as he wondered whether the news from the this latest thread would be of victory or defeat. Ah, it was more than the rules of the English language that had perished! Much had changed in him since that first day in the Ministry of Love, but the final, indispensable, healing change had never happened, until this moment.

He gazed up at the enormous face. Twenty two years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the Greg Laidlaw avatar. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved ImScotty.

 

[UlsterRugby2012]

Behold the literary excellence you have inspired Scotty, we thank you.

 

[Groundhog]

I can't believe you 1984'd Scotty. I want a TRFie category for that.
I couldn't stand that book I swear I'm having horrible flashbacks.

 

[big ginger 8]

I can't believe you 1984'd Scotty. I want a TRFie category for that.
I couldn't stand that book I swear I'm having horrible flashbacks.

Damn you I was going to show my literary knowledge. Also it's a great book. If a bit to optimistic for me.

 

[Groundhog]

It's about a little moany man child hipster who's too cool for a super oppressive dictatorship when everyone else is having fun.
I'm glad Winston gets caught out, what a gin fuelled pussy.

 

[big ginger 8]

It's about a little moany man child hipster who's too cool for a super oppressive dictatorship when everyone else is having fun.
I'm glad Winston gets caught out, what a gin fuelled pussy.

Eh O'Brien is clearly the hero of the story.

 

[iINDOMINUSxx]

Where do you live its still May in France!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in scotland its may aswell but like 2 days till june

 

[Groundhog]

I think Feic should work Sean O'Brien in somewhere for bonus marks. A full parody of 1984 might be just the thing this forum needs.

 

[big ginger 8]

I think Feic should work Sean O'Brien in somewhere for bonus marks. A full parody of 1984 might be just the thing this forum needs.

But not the thing it deserves!

Batman'd!

 

[Rich Taff]

I can't believe you 1984'd Scotty. I want a TRFie category for that.
I couldn't stand that book I swear I'm having horrible flashbacks.

Nice catch, was wondering why it sounded so familiar. Hope you didn't google it

 

[munstermuffin]

On monitoring this year I can safely say I will be nowhere near the Dubya this year.

 

[Feicarsinn]

On monitoring this year I can safely say I will be nowhere near the Dubya this year.

Never say never. You've put some real clangers in this year.

 

[Groundhog]

I read that book thank you very much Rich Taff. I'm a man of fine tastes. My farts smell like mahogany and money.

 

[munstermuffin]

Never say never. You've put some real clangers in this year.

But there's been worst by a long long way

 

[Feicarsinn]

But there's been worst by a long long way

All of a sudden you're right back in the running.