Big Ewis
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- Oct 10, 2011
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"Money is really very, very good...for the soul", Aristotle.
I read that unforgettable quote although not in this particular life or timeline; but all the same; which we can say changed my entire life, give or take some exaggeration.
Money is so essential to life, we could say (this is in my own words now) it is to human beings, what oxygen is to human.. beings. Money allows you to purchase things, to be respected by superficial people AND allows you to make the acquisition of the most exotic, eccentric, and utterly useful, practically vital goods this undeniably marvelous world has to offer.
So this thread is a virtual place, if you will, ok, a market or showroom where we showcase our own showinventio...our inventions.
I'm going to start this exciting concept off with...
- The gold bar bar of soap.
The gold bar bar of soap is a bar of soap that looks exactly like a gold bar.
Just like any bar of soap in any bathroom, it sits on a little crystal-incrusted silver platter by one of your bathtubs within reach. The difference here is this gold bar dissolves progressively as it is rubbed on your large, wealthy, lazy body all the while being actual gold. It is literally bathing in gold, a true tribute to being filthy fuccking rich. Our engineers found a brilliant formula to make a perfect hybrid between solid gold and consumable cosmetic fabric. Yes, for the very first time, you get to actually consume gold for realzies, as a mere daily hygienic maneuver !
Now, you'll smell like rusted guitar strings, may be assaulted by magpies on your way to your Rolls-Royce every now and then, and overtime there is a chance you'll develop heavy metal poisoning or various forms of lethal lead toxicity - but just what the gosh darn heck is the point of living if we can't even take advantage of such elemental pleasures and have to wash ourselves with regular soap ?
The gold bar bar of soap...the right kind of yellow peril. *very genuine smile, twinkle in teeth*
I read that unforgettable quote although not in this particular life or timeline; but all the same; which we can say changed my entire life, give or take some exaggeration.
Money is so essential to life, we could say (this is in my own words now) it is to human beings, what oxygen is to human.. beings. Money allows you to purchase things, to be respected by superficial people AND allows you to make the acquisition of the most exotic, eccentric, and utterly useful, practically vital goods this undeniably marvelous world has to offer.
So this thread is a virtual place, if you will, ok, a market or showroom where we showcase our own showinventio...our inventions.
I'm going to start this exciting concept off with...
- The gold bar bar of soap.
The gold bar bar of soap is a bar of soap that looks exactly like a gold bar.
Just like any bar of soap in any bathroom, it sits on a little crystal-incrusted silver platter by one of your bathtubs within reach. The difference here is this gold bar dissolves progressively as it is rubbed on your large, wealthy, lazy body all the while being actual gold. It is literally bathing in gold, a true tribute to being filthy fuccking rich. Our engineers found a brilliant formula to make a perfect hybrid between solid gold and consumable cosmetic fabric. Yes, for the very first time, you get to actually consume gold for realzies, as a mere daily hygienic maneuver !
Now, you'll smell like rusted guitar strings, may be assaulted by magpies on your way to your Rolls-Royce every now and then, and overtime there is a chance you'll develop heavy metal poisoning or various forms of lethal lead toxicity - but just what the gosh darn heck is the point of living if we can't even take advantage of such elemental pleasures and have to wash ourselves with regular soap ?
The gold bar bar of soap...the right kind of yellow peril. *very genuine smile, twinkle in teeth*
