Comédie Français de Rugby

[O'Rothlain]

Comédie Français de Rugby
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J'ai trouvé cette vidéo sur le google. Si vous parlez couramment français, svp nous faire savoir le tout qu'est dit.

 

[Bullitt]

It's Spitting Image in French!

 

[shtove]

Saw that before - I think it was just after the AB hammering in November, with Laporte bullshitting his way and captain Pelous acting like a dummy.

 

[tituslechmakus]

ok i'm going for an entier translation :

the tv presentator (famous french one) introduces Laporte and Pelous
he asks : how doyou analyse this match ?

hum well would say we've taken tries at the worst moment ... that is, all along the match, for 4th to 80th minute. comming from everywhere, the sides the center, between the posts, 40m runs, 80m runs, smiling, hansds in the pockets. all right fabien its finished now bee cool.

ok we've all seen the match but lets talk about next week's match

(pelous is very scared)
laporte says ok fabien you won't play next math keep cool

he seems frightened ?

well scared ... he is but he also suffers a lot

it seems his ego has taken a lot ?

well not only his ego but also his liver, his spinal

His spinal ? a rugby match is quite violent ... specially against the Blacks ?
(pelous goes crying again)

keep cool we're playin italy in soccer next sat ...

Quite traumatising ?

well thats how we finished with 3 players ...

3 Players ?????

hum yes 6 of them just escaped, we could catch 5 at the airport and one of them at the serbia border, claiming for medical asylum

And the other ?

under the field of the stadium

Under ?

yes 'cause the AB, during scrums, they start pushing horizantaly, and when the scrum collapses, 3 seconds later, they keep pushing but vertically. we found players down 30 meters under the pitch

(pelous goes crying again) ok keep cool its finished now. we've found pelous at only 17 meters, he was hung to the ref. see the importance of the ref in a rugby match.

ok what about next sat match ? (pelous again ...)

NOOOOOOOO don't tell him there is another match next sat, we just told them we were going to paris for visiting. we'll see the eifel tower, the louvres, and at 8pm we take them into the bus and we equip them and kick them on the field.

Wait a second, what do you mean by equip them ? can't they do it alone ?

Well no its like other thing they won't be able to do anymore alone in their life, its like eating, peeing, live ...

Well its terrible ?

it it ... misery... fortunatly its the "week of handicap" next week ... we need to get them a new job now, nothing physical. neighther intelectual due to their brain damages.

ok so lets meet next sat for the match ...

well lets more meet next sunday in "emergency room"

end

I hope you'll understand what i said and enjoy that great moment... i had a lot of fun seeing it.

 

[O'Rothlain]

Brilliant! Thanks for the translation, ***us.
Now I know exactly why I'm laughing.

 

[tituslechmakus]

i must go now but search in google : guignols video chabal and put it on the forum (i don't know how to do it), i'll do the translation but its also a huge moment

 

[O'Rothlain]

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Je peux seulement supposer que vous mettez en référence cette vidéo. Chabal semble fou! ...haha!

 

[tituslechmakus]

yep that one. he's not mad, he's just going to play england !!!!

 

[O'Rothlain]

yep that one. he's not mad, he's just going to play england !!!! [/b]

by "mad" I meant "crazy." sorry. haha!
I'm going back to school for my masters degree...to do so, I'll have to be fluent in French...one day we can talk and understand eachother properly.
I hope to actually study the language in France.

 

[tituslechmakus]

i hope too that would be a good way to increase your own culture (wich is rather huge btw)

i'll go for the translation of this video of Chabal & Laporte

Is he well attached ? 'cause he scares me

Naaah no risk you're not English ... he's now being conditioned. He's ready to destroy everything that is english, everything that wears a white shirt. Chabal is undoubtly a primate but at least evoluated enogh to distinguish the primary colours.

(Chabal goes mad)

He scares me !!!!

Naaah never mind, he's just a bit tough thats it ...

ok is he ready for the match (in french match is the same word as in english)?

(Chabal goes mad)

Are you mad !!!!!!! Never say "match" again, its an english word. he's been conditioned for a week to eat roastedbeef (french word to define english ppl .... same as froggies) .... (Chabal goes mad) euh no no no meat, keep cool sebastien keep cool !!!

He moves a lot now, he seems to be hungry !

Hungry ? no he's eaten an austin mini for lunch

A mini ???? A car ???

Yes, a mini, an english car.

(Chabal goes mad)

Reassure me it remains a rugby match ?

Yes certainly, the rugby values a perfectly respected, free violence, acts of barbarism, broken necks, bloody flesh, but with a ball.

And what is precisely his role on the field ?

Hunting, tracking, extermination of eveything that is english. He searches for footprints on the field, follows and destroyes them.

Well hum .... its said that out of the matches (Chabal goes mad) euh the games, that sebastien is a nice guy, very cultivated ...

Well it could probably be, i don't know ... he's a guy that mainly lives in securised places

What do you mean ?

Well he lives in the "chateau d'if" near marseille (famous old french jail), alone and watched night and day by the GIGN (french FBI)... he really is isloated, he's a wild beast, fed everyday by helicopter ... we throw him beef carcasses. Beware its quite impressiv, he can shred a carcass in 50 seconds !!!!

No ?

i swear ! have you seen sea fangs (don't know the english ***le of that horror film, or sea teeth) ... regarding to him its like bamby

hum is he now ready to play the english on sunday ?

(Chabal goes mad)

yes it should be ok ... just need to excite him a bit before the match with the triple album of Jane Birkin and them drop him on the field. but since that i'm not responsible of anything

 

[O'Rothlain]

i hope too that would be a good way to increase your own culture (wich is rather huge btw)

i'll go for the translation of this video of Chabal & Laporte

Is he well attached ? 'cause he scares me

Naaah no risk you're not English ... he's now being conditioned. He's ready to destroy everything that is english, everything that wears a white shirt. Chabal is undoubtly a primate but at least evoluated enogh to distinguish the primary colours.

(Chabal goes mad)

He scares me !!!!

Naaah never mind, he's just a bit tough thats it ...

ok is he ready for the match (in french match is the same word as in english)?

(Chabal goes mad)

Are you mad !!!!!!! Never say "match" again, its an english word. he's been conditioned for a week to eat roastedbeef (french word to define english ppl .... same as froggies) .... (Chabal goes mad) euh no no no meat, keep cool sebastien keep cool !!!

He moves a lot now, he seems to be hungry !

Hungry ? no he's eaten an austin mini for lunch

A mini ???? A car ???

Yes, a mini, an english car.

(Chabal goes mad)

Reassure me it remains a rugby match ?

Yes certainly, the rugby values a perfectly respected, free violence, acts of barbarism, broken necks, bloody flesh, but with a ball.

And what is precisely his role on the field ?

Hunting, tracking, extermination of eveything that is english. He searches for footprints on the field, follows and destroyes them.

Well hum .... its said that out of the matches (Chabal goes mad) euh the games, that sebastien is a nice guy, very cultivated ...

Well it could probably be, i don't know ... he's a guy that mainly lives in securised places

What do you mean ?

Well he lives in the "chateau d'if" near marseille (famous old french jail), alone and watched night and day by the GIGN (french FBI)... he really is isloated, he's a wild beast, fed everyday by helicopter ... we throw him beef carcasses. Beware its quite impressiv, he can shred a carcass in 50 seconds !!!!

No ?

i swear ! have you seen sea fangs (don't know the english ***le of that horror film, or sea teeth) ... regarding to him its like bamby

hum is he now ready to play the english on sunday ?

(Chabal goes mad)

yes it should be ok ... just need to excite him a bit before the match with the triple album of Jane Birkin and them drop him on the field. but since that i'm not responsible of anything [/b]

Haha...Chateau d'If...as in the Count of Monte Cristo? Funny. Thanks again for the translations.
If you call the English "Roast Beef" what do you call the Americans?

 

[tituslechmakus]

"ricain" ... like the end of "americain" nothing rude ... but we don't have much of rivality/cultural opposition with USA, on the contrary to England !!!

Chateau d'if is exactly the one in Monte cristo (how the f*** do you know that ???!!!). its a famous jail on an island that was used one or two centuries ago. its a bit like alcatraz but much more little ... the most famous prisoner was "the man with the iron mask". i don't know the english ***le but its a film with di caprio.

if u want french read : http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chateau_d'If

 

[tituslechmakus]

j'ai des problemes avec les PM sur le forum pourrais tu me contacter par msn s'il te plais. mon adresse est @hotmail.com

merci

 

[RoyalBlueStuey]

i hope too that would be a good way to increase your own culture (wich is rather huge btw)

i'll go for the translation of this video of Chabal & Laporte

Is he well attached ? 'cause he scares me

Naaah no risk you're not English ... he's now being conditioned. He's ready to destroy everything that is english, everything that wears a white shirt. Chabal is undoubtly a primate but at least evoluated enogh to distinguish the primary colours.

(Chabal goes mad)

He scares me !!!!

Naaah never mind, he's just a bit tough thats it ...

ok is he ready for the match (in french match is the same word as in english)?

(Chabal goes mad)

Are you mad !!!!!!! Never say "match" again, its an english word. he's been conditioned for a week to eat roastedbeef (french word to define english ppl .... same as froggies) .... (Chabal goes mad) euh no no no meat, keep cool sebastien keep cool !!!

He moves a lot now, he seems to be hungry !

Hungry ? no he's eaten an austin mini for lunch

A mini ???? A car ???

Yes, a mini, an english car.

(Chabal goes mad)

Reassure me it remains a rugby match ?

Yes certainly, the rugby values a perfectly respected, free violence, acts of barbarism, broken necks, bloody flesh, but with a ball.

And what is precisely his role on the field ?

Hunting, tracking, extermination of eveything that is english. He searches for footprints on the field, follows and destroyes them.

Well hum .... its said that out of the matches (Chabal goes mad) euh the games, that sebastien is a nice guy, very cultivated ...

Well it could probably be, i don't know ... he's a guy that mainly lives in securised places

What do you mean ?

Well he lives in the "chateau d'if" near marseille (famous old french jail), alone and watched night and day by the GIGN (french FBI)... he really is isloated, he's a wild beast, fed everyday by helicopter ... we throw him beef carcasses. Beware its quite impressiv, he can shred a carcass in 50 seconds !!!!

No ?

i swear ! have you seen sea fangs (don't know the english ***le of that horror film, or sea teeth) ... regarding to him its like bamby

hum is he now ready to play the english on sunday ?

(Chabal goes mad)

yes it should be ok ... just need to excite him a bit before the match with the triple album of Jane Birkin and them drop him on the field. but since that i'm not responsible of anything [/b]

C'est formidable mon ami, tres drole. Merci

Many, many thanks for the translation

 

[tituslechmakus]

no probs mate. its so silly that i had to share it with non-french speakers. i hope my translation remains funny in english as it is in french. btw if you notice, the voice of Laporte is really well imitated.

 

[RCNM11]

Very funny ! J'adore.

 

[nolife1490]

Greatful.


L'analyse est simple, je crois qu'on a pris des essais au plus mauvais moment du match :lol:
C'est à dire ?

Tout au long du match :lol:

Avec des courses de 90m, les mains dans les poches :lol:


Excellent vidéo, sinon celles de Chabal sont pas mal :lol:


Sinon ***us, tu joues à Grenoble ?

On a joué contre eux mais ils nous ont battus h34r:
C'était il y a 2ans, pdt les vacances de Pâques.

 

[tituslechmakus]

Greatful.


L'analyse est simple, je crois qu'on a pris des essais au plus mauvais moment du match :lol:
C'est à dire ?

Tout au long du match :lol:

Avec des courses de 90m, les mains dans les poches :lol:


Excellent vidéo, sinon celles de Chabal sont pas mal :lol:


Sinon ***us, tu joues à Grenoble ?

On a joué contre eux mais ils nous ont battus h34r:
C'était il y a 2ans, pdt les vacances de Pâques.

[/b]

Non je joue pas malheureusement (j'habite pas exactement à grenoble). Vous devez pas etre terrible y sont bidon grenoble .



Y'a quelques autres videos sur Laporte -> cherche soit Canteloup ou laporte guignols sur Dailymotion ou Youtube

 

[Princess Obolensky]

C'est trop drole! Tres magnificent! Mon mari et moi adore les clips. Nous regardons beaucoup. Merci beaucoup pour votre contribution!



(In english now, as it's too hard to keep writing French):

These are freaking hilarious, my husband and I could not stop laughing. Now we keep doing "Fabiens" and "Chabals" and "Laportes" ("be cool Fabien, be cool"). It's just too funny! :lol: