Make me Laugh, TRF

[Seaton]

I read this, but the thing is that the penalty should not count. When a ball hits the post, crossbar or goalkeeper, the penalty kick is over once the ball hits the grass.

This penalty kick was a simple miss. Just lazy officials not knowing the rules in Italy make it into such a big thing

I see that the match has to be replayed due to an appeal from the losing club.

Lol, wonder who is going to win this time


:lol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXo2nm2ODF0&NR=1
:lol:

 

[alex]

can you spare $5?

Ranji is a 7 year old Pakistani boy. He has one leg, one arm, and one eye. he cannot hear or smell anything. every morning he wakes up at 5am to start his gruelling journey to school along a narrow road, on a rusty old bike with one pedal and no brakes. For just $5 i will send you the video - it's f**king hilarious!

Distasteful?

 

[Seaton]

Just a tad

Paddy asked Doctor if he had ever laughed at a patient?

"In over 20 years I haven't, I always remain professional" With that Paddy dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest penis the Doctor had ever seen. It was smaller than a AAA battery, Doc bursts out into uncontrollable laughter, wipes away his tears takes a deep breath and says
"I'm sorry, I really am, it won't happen again. Now how can I help you?"

Paddy says "It's swollen"

 

[TRF_Ezequiel]

What ship has never docked at Liverpool?

The Premiership!

 

[TRF_Ezequiel]

HILARIOUS!

 

[TRF_Olyy]

This is superb:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/...0&i=0&nmt=How+to+troll+a+dating+website......

 

[TRF_Cymro]

"...98... 99... 100. Phew! How was that?" asked my wife.

"Very impressive Sarah" I replied, "however there is a theory behind why it's known as a three point turn."

 

[IRFU]

Tommy Bowe texting his flying instructor :LOL:

 

[shtove]

"Whenever I make love my husband's face gets so angry."

"How can you tell?"

"I see him looking through the window."

 

[Seaton]

This is superb:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/...0&i=0&nmt=How+to+troll+a+dating+website......

That actyally brought tears to my eyes, my head is starting to hurt and there was a period little under a minute where I couldn't breath

 

[smartcooky]

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect pilots to know the boarding gate locations, but expect them to know how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control (GC) and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt, Speedbird 206. Clear of active runway."

Frankfurt GC: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Frankfurt GC: "Speedbird 206, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Frankfurt GC: (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206: (cooly) "Yes I have, twice. It was in 1944, but it was dark...... and I didn't land."

 

[shtove]

This is superb:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/...0&i=0&nmt=How+to+troll+a+dating+website......

Nasty! Hehe.

Q: What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

A: Tennish.

 

[Sam Owen]

R.I.P Leslie Nielsen

 

[Seaton]

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I never knew there was actually a song

 

[TRF_Olyy]

 

[big ginger 8]

Working as an anthropologist for the U.N. I thought I'd discovered a mass grave of snowmen.

Turns out it was just a field of carrots.

 

[TRF_Ezequiel]

A friend of mine has a Labrador retriever & we went to Wal-mart to buy a large bag of Purina. We were in line to check out & a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.

On impulse he told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't. He said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.

He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.

Horrified she asked why he ended up in the hospital, had the Purina made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him .

I thought we were going to have to help the guy up off the floor.

 

[shtove]

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px">


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I never knew there was actually a song

That's old! The dj is Justin Timberlake.

Favourite line: we're gonna need a clean up in aisle three.

 

[TRF_Ezequiel]

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting paedo
and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 16 and I'm 26. It
completely spoiled our 10th anniversary ..

 

[TRF_Ezequiel]

A maid asked for a pay increase.

The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Your husband said so."

Wife: "Oh."

Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maria: "Your husband did."

Wife: "Oh."

Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you."

Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?"

Maria: "No Señora, the gardener did."