Funny school stories

[Saints1]

I was talking to an old school mate on facebook earlier and he reminded me of some funny stuff from school, stuff that I had forgotten about.

I could go on for hours writing this, so I'll just give a few examples for now:

- We had a supply English teacher in once who spoke very oddly, ffffffwith a lot of emphasis on his fffffwords. Me being me, when I was asked by him to read a passage from a book, I read it in his voice. And if I remember correctly, it was about the fffffffwild fffffffwest. I wasn't a cheeky kid in school but I was fascinated by his voice, so I fffffwent along with it.

Obviously my whole reading was a pisstake. As I finished, he said:

"What's your name?"

"Daniel, Sir."

"Excellent bit of reading there. ffffWell done. Excellent emphasis on your ffffffwords."

At the time I thought "You gullable fool" but looking back now having been one meeting away from qualifying as a teacher at one point, he knew full well what I'd done and just decided to brush it under the carpet. He was a boss teacher as well. That was the story I'd forgotten.

- My mate brought a new bag into school and his younger brother nicked it and tied it to the cistern in the bogs. My mate knew his brother had took it and was interrogating him, but the bell went. His brother wriggled free and my mate chased him through a door. As junior went through my mate slammed the door and his entire body bounced off the doorframe onto the floor face first.

Suddenly the deputy head teacher walked through the door - my mate managed to get off scot free and his brother was on detention. Genius!


I could go on all day and when I've not got work in the morning, I will, but I want to hear some of your funny school stories, be very interesting to hear about the differences in generations and countries.

 

[ckell]

Hmmm, let me think about this one...

 

[Kdog]

[Warning contains Holocaust joke]
Me and my friend were in the kitchen cooking sausage roles, We were far behind all the other groups who's sausage roles were now in the oven. The Teacher walks over and says "Why aren't you in the oven?"(she had meant to say why isn't your food in the oven) So I being the genius I am replied "Because I'm not a jew miss." I then proceeded to **** myself laughing while the teacher and my friend just looked at me. I laughed so hard and for so long that the teacher walked off and I wasn't punished.

 

[nickdnz]

Hard to say, there are plenty of jokes that were great at the time, but don't really translate on the internet. One I'm sure most people would recognize in one way or another, as every year in every school seems to have someone like this.

Back in year 10, there was a guy called Kurt. He was the guy who thought he was the funniest guy around, but it always seemed to fall a bit flat. Well we managed to convince him, like always, that it'd be a good joke locking the teacher out of the class. "Promise you won't tell it was me" he kept saying, and we all went a long with it. Well he put the door stump into the door, and kicked it into the door, makingit very hard to remove. Well, after a hell of a lot of work, and a good 15 minutes of trying, the teacher fianlly managed to get into the class room. Furious, she said "Who the **** locked the door?!" in which every single person in the class, simultaneously pointed their finger at him.

Another time, in which the year two years above me, though it would be a good end of year prank, in which I was holding the sings, to direct the morning traffic into the school, in which it was a one way exit. In hind sight, it caused a few problems, but it was more creative than what my year thought was a clever prank (some people broke into the school and threw around paint and cat food, which we all helped clean up).

As I said, it's pretty hard to translate funny school stories onto the internet.

 

[Seaton]

Well, I was a bit of an author at school, and people paid me for 'chronicling' funny events
So I have typed records of school stories, some of which I just re-wrote for English/Afrikaans essays
I'm on my phone the now, will post some when on a PC

I have 14 or so pages, so I'll have to edit out a few of the paragraphs which are purely for pisstake

 

[gingergenius]

i'll come up with more, but you know the interactive whiteboards?

well, me and a mate used to sit on the front row of physics class, and whenever the teacher's back was turned to write on the board, we used to move the mouse around on his desk so that the electronic pen he was writing with kept scribbling all over the board. funny thing was, he blamed it on a fault with the board and had two of them replaced!

 

[Seaton]

We had one of those boards in a maths class
The teacher was an old bat in her 50s, and clearly had some social issues

We would put the circlets of paper from a paper punch on top of the sensors so when she picks up the pens they don't work
She was convinced it was the class before us

 

[Saints1]

Bump!

 

[lucky number 7]

I will post one or two every day as they come to me.

transition year for an april fools joke we took all the desks and chairs out of the classroom and put them out on the road which was visible from the class by a massive window...teacher walks in sees an empty room but 30 of us ******** ourselves laughing behind the glass.

Last year a group of lads on their last day of school took their woodwork teacher tied him to a wheelie computer chair with duct tape and gagged him , wheeled him all the way to an elevator which they sent up to the staffroom where apparently he was set free by the principle.

3rd year on a dissection class it was the final day before the easter holidays one of the lads left half of a sheeps heart in one of the presses ..two weeks later ..vile vile decrepid smells

One of my mates got suspended for saying how he though a certain teacher in the school was a **** for unjustly suspending the star footballer the day of a leinster final. he mentioned no names in the status or anything but was given a weeks suspension . the chap had an unbelievable track record with fantastic acedemic and sporting results as well as being one of the most like people in the school by staff alike , the suspension meant he could not perform in the school talent show that night which myself and a few of the lads had practised for a couple of weeks .. as a result a protest by students and teachers were called where about 700 students sat down in the courtyard for lunch refusing to go back to class and where two teachers resigned from their posts...didn't work though

and last night one of the boys got spiked and accosted by some weird aggressive man , took him home passed out pupils dilated shaking and unresponsive to pain ..queue an ambulance at 4:30 in the morning

 

[TVH11]

Ive never liked april fools bing an aracnaphobiac. April 1st 2004, geography, around 11am. The usual toilet stop, half way through the lesson, ended in a very harsh way ( at least from my side). Theyd planted a tarantula skin in my pensil case, cue swear words when i descovered the scary sight. I had 3 weeks detetion for mh actions =( =( those were the days.

There was also an interesting chocolate story, but possibly little blue for the forum ; D

Sent from my R800i using Tapatalk

 

[lucky number 7]

I have managed to get away with not doing a single piece of maths / english homework for 2 years... being diagnosed with ADHD is easily the best thing thats ever happened to me ..teachers don't know how to deal with me

 

[DorceOutSide]

my classmate john went to go to the bathroom(we are mates so we used to push each other around etc) so john asked the teacher could he go to the bathroom the teacher said yes so john got up and then my other friend mark jocked him boxers and trousers around his ankles and the funniest thing was he spraint his leg so he couldnt pull up his boxers and trousers for an hour !!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Hulk Hogan]

We had a teacher called Mr. Buckley we always had jokes about him using the crows around the school to see what students were doing, and that he could teleport around the school, one time our teacher Mr. Diekman left us in detention as usual and just said "Lock the Door when you're done" So we started playing cricket in the class room, sure enough 5 minutes later Mr. Buckley pokes his head in, all we hear is his deep voice going "Are you supposed to be doing that?"
Me being the usual ring leader said "No sir you usually use a cricket bat instead of a ruler." needless to say I was supposed to go to detention for the next 4 weeks....

Another time someone thought it would be funny to jump from the 4th story onto a palm tree and slide down, who was at the bottom waiting for him Mr. Buckley of course.

Then the one time I skipped class Mr. Buckley showed up in the library by chance and demanded to know where I was supposed to be, seriously this guy was supernatural.

 

[YesImAfroJack]

i remember when two years ago that the teachers joined in on our rugby game one lunch time , 'smother' rugby of course .

 

[lynam1104]

We had a teacher named Mis. Nibhanupuddy, quicly change by the whole year to Mis. bananapudding.

 

[lucky number 7]

Turns out a guy doing teacher training in my school at the end of this year was in fact my opponent in a fight that had the local derby abandoned...awkward on the corridors

 

[lucky number 7]

Just remembered after losing the final last year the whole team got off our ***s drunk at a mates house...on a beer run still in school uniform at about 9 o'clock at night I was recorded getting into a child's forklift simulation game , driving around in it in my own little world and then when exiting said forklift game , smashing my head off one of the protective bars...the video was forwarded to my mother a few days later.

Would not mind if it was a weekend ..but it was a wednesday.. I can with all my heart say that the following thursday was the worst day of school ever experienced.

 

[superprop]

We had a teacher who was from Kerry and absolutely stunk. The guy I was sitting beside called him over and the guy behind us sprayed him with deodrant.

The guy who replaced him is incredibley posh. Anyway apparently a guy in his 5th year class stood up showed the finger said "**** YOU SIR!!!!!!" promptly walking out of the class followed by his classmates.

 

[lucky number 7]

We had a teacher who was from Kerry and absolutely stunk. The guy I was sitting beside called him over and the guy behind us sprayed him with deodrant.

The guy who replaced him is incredibley posh. Anyway apparently a guy in his 5th year class stood up showed the finger said "**** YOU SIR!!!!!!" promptly walking out of the class followed by his classmates.

That chap deserved a ****ing thump...no reason to be such a mindless oaf.

 

[superprop]

That chap deserved a ****ing thump...no reason to be such a mindless oaf.

Yeah is pretty mean but if you knew the teacher. He's a complete asshole. If you don't believe me ask cmac and the tadginator both have had him. He's to lazy to teach and doesn't allow questions.