Calling all Māori members - Urgent

[Bullitt]

This weekend I'm required to turn up to a fancy dress event, where the theme is historical costume from approximately 2000 years ago, and have until now been stuck… Then I have 2 great ideas.

-Cassivellaunus, the king of the Britons who fended off Ceasers invasion attempts. So a simple celtic outfit / tartan cloak and a cheep sword/shield combo from toys'r'us would suffice, but will be done 100 times over by 100 different people,
Or!
-A Māori warrior.

Now, I'm preferring the second option at the moment (we'll ignore my pasty white skin or the fact I couldn't barely pass as a Mancunian, let alone a Māori) but I need to know a couple of things form any members who have a better understanding then I do.

First, any tattoo designs I draw on myself; Are there specific patterns (arm, face etc) that I'd need to follow to look authentic?

Second, Can anyone post up the words to Ka Mate pho-ne-tic-ally for me? (For a related event on the evening which gave me the idea)

Any help will be much appreciated. Cheers.

 

[KZNSharksFan]

This weekend I’m required to turn up to a fancy dress event, where the theme is historical costume from approximately 2000 years ago, and have until now been stuck… Then I have 2 great ideas.

-Cassivellaunus, the king of the Britons who fended off Ceasers invasion attempts. So a simple celtic outfit / tartan cloak and a cheep sword/shield combo from toys’r’us would suffice, but will be done 100 times over by 100 different people,
Or!
-A Māori warrior.

Now, I’m preferring the second option at the moment (we’ll ignore my pasty white skin or the fact I couldn’t barely pass as a Mancunian, let alone a Māori) but I need to know a couple of things form any members who have a better understanding then I do.

First, any tattoo designs I draw on myself; Are there specific patterns (arm, face etc) that I’d need to follow to look authentic?

Second, Can anyone post up the words to Ka Mate pho-ne-tic-ally for me? (For a related event on the evening which gave me the idea)

Any help will be much appreciated. Cheers.
[/b]

If you're a stickler for detail, you wont be able to go as a Maori because the ancestors of the Maori (Pacific islanders) only arrived in NZ around the turn of the first millenium. But, who cares, the other people there won't know that, and if so, will likely be too inebriated to care (i'm guessing).

Can't help with advice for clothing though, sorry

 

[Bullitt]

Oh balls... In that case, if I get the look right it'll have to be good enough.

 

[nam97]

I can't really help you here but this is an awesome idea. Be sure to post pictures!

 

[stan_stan]

Just put moko in google images and there should be some ideas to draw on your face.

 

[Fa'atau82]

I will do the ka mate phonetics for you, mite.

 

[Bullitt]

Nice one blue. ASAP on that one though please, I've got to (first learn then) teach a dozen people it before Saturday!

 

[fcukernaut]

Nice one blue. ASAP on that one though please, I've got to (first learn then) teach a dozen people it before Saturday! [/b]

Nothing say authentic like 13 crackers with English accents doing the haka.

 

[bates]

The Haka, you can find on the site of the All Blacks: concerning tattoo's: you have the Spiral, Fishbone, Fern etc...

I would recommand Google.

 

[Fa'atau82]

Kah mar-te Ka mar-te, Kah ora Kah ora

Kah mar-te Ka mar-te, Kah ora Kah ora

Tehney teh tangatta poo whooru whooru

Nana ney e tikky may

Whakka whitti tey rar

Ah ooh parne, kah ooh parne

Ah oo parne, kau parne whitti teh rar

(some kind of deep gruff sounding like HOOO!)

mp3 is here
http://www.haka.co.nz/media/haka.mp3

Did you want the movements too?

 

[Bullitt]

<div class='quotemain'> Nice one blue. ASAP on that one though please, I've got to (first learn then) teach a dozen people it before Saturday! [/b]

Nothing say authentic like 13 crackers with English accents doing the haka.
[/b][/quote]

Hardly the end of the world, the yanks have been ripping it off for years.

Besides, there'll be 13 different accents doing it!

Kah mar-te Ka mar-te, Kah ora Kah ora

Kah mar-te Ka mar-te, Kah ora Kah ora

Tehney teh tangatta poo whooru whooru

Nana ney e tikky may

Whakka whitti tey rar

Ah ooh parne, kah ooh parne

Ah oo parne, kau parne whitti teh rar

(some kind of deep gruff sounding like HOOO!)

mp3 is here
http://www.haka.co.nz/media/haka.mp3

Did you want the movements too?
[/b]

Nah, I'm okay with the movements thanks. What about the lead calls at the beginning?

 

[Fa'atau82]

Lead calls..

Rinn-ga pack-iya
Ooma teeraha
Toori wharrtia
Hop-eh wayy akeh
wayway tahka he-a key-a keeno

You need someone like Tana Umaga to scream it to really scare the crap out of the crowd!

 

[jawmalawm24]

Theres heaps of ways you can lead a Haka usually when the All Blacks lead it they use this way. I'll try do it phonetically or whatever it is:

tar-ring-a f***-a-roarng-or
key-a ree-tear
key-a ree-tear
key-a mow
Hee!!!! (simultaneously)
ring-a par-key-a
par-key-a par-key-a
why-why tar-car-he-a
key-a key-nor nay whore-key
a-ha ear-key-nor nay whore-key (simultaneously)

aha ka mate ka mate.....

 

[Fa'atau82]

Yeh, that is the one on my earsc site's haka intro, but i couldn't find the lead calls on wikipedia.

 

[candybum]

Whakka whitti tey rar[/b]

Not Weety, but feety lol

 

[Fa'atau82]

I did try, but i am english and i'm no expert on Maori's.

However, here is the english version of the Haka (called the 'Tikka') and has been passed down many generations of naked male drunken dickheads.

On the left is the words and the right the movement. (Underneath in brackets is the lyrics meaning)

Tikka leader starts with a stare down and by screaming..

Chiken Tika'a Masala'a! - hands by the head, like steps' 'tragedy'
(here comes the curry)

Tika'a Tika'a Masala'a! - slaps own forehead with each palm once
(i want the curry)

OOF! - slaps hands on m00bs, and squeeze

EVERYONE JOINS IN

Burna mi ringa, burna mi ringa - Grab of the buttocks with both hands
(i will eat the curry from the sun)

Drinka the beer, oof, oof - left hand pint glass drinking action.
(i will drink the amber rain of god)

Drinka the beer, oof, oof - right hand pint glass drinking action.
(i will drink the amber rain of god)

OOF OOF OOF OOF - skipping type dance, a full 360
(females! i am the almighty pillock)

Taikina dump, shitana dump - squat low and pull straining dump face
(glory to the shitty homeland)

Pissana dump, pissana dump - gyrate the pelvis to make the penis swing
(glory to the pissy homeland)

NOW SQUATTING

Eata kebab, eata kebab NOM NOM - left hand feeding the mouth
(the food from the shop i will plunder)

Scoffa kebab, puika kebab NOM NOM - right hand feeding the mouth
(the food from the shop i will chunder)

Piuka Piuka Masala'a! - hands around the mouth ready to vomit
(i am filled with rage and curry)

Bleughgarbledrunkenwank - Fall flat on ass in a flowerbed with both hands on dick
(rage the has **** ***s and i need more ber)

 

[Fa'atau82]

And also, the ancient Samoan version dates back centuries before the Siva Tau. It was used to decide what to have for dinner.

Just the words.. translation is pretty bad.

A burly fa'afafine in a cocktail dress starts the call..

CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOM NOM fia'ai palolo palolo -
(i'm hungry for seaworms)

NOM NOM fia'ai palolo palolo aiga!
(all my family is hungry for seaworms)

Fereti, Aumai pisupo fa'amolemole
(get the tinned corned beef, please Fereti)

Fia'ai oka
(i'm hungry for oka)

Fia'ai Ulu
(i'm hungry for breadfruit)

Vailima HOOO, vailima HOOO
(Beer HOOO, beer HOOO)

Aumai pa'ep'ae lua moa
(Go get 2 chickens)

CHOOOOHOOOOO!

 

[candybum]

LOL! CheeeeeHooooOOOOOO haha great times

 

[Fa'atau82]

I say tomato, you say toemato.
i say choooohoooo, you say cheeeeehooooo.

Am i retarded?

 

[candybum]

not at all? lol hmm