Brilliant News!

[Goth Power]

There was something I was gagging to ask Michaela (my partner) for a bit now, and I was thinking non-stop for the past week or so about asking one special question.. (I bet you know where this is going)

Despite all the things that have happened lately, we are strong and nothing is going to break us apart..

We are talking about planning to start having kids in March (Her 17th Birthday)

And no one has ever been like Michaela and I will never find someone like her again, never in all my life.

So I asked the very, nerve-racking question..

"...(Insert soppy line here, another one....) Will you do the honour of becoming my wife?"

She said YES!

I am so happy. but I can imagine most of you and my parents when they find out to be deeply shocked. But the thing is, its about us...no one else.

I live for her and she lives for me.
I know 3 months is a bit quick to propose to someone but she is special and so very worth it.

I just thought I'd share the news anyway! :cheers:

 

[Bullitt]

So long as you know what you're getting into, congratulations.

 

[..::ERIC::..]

Yeah mate, congrats. You'll have a lot of people telling you that you're too young and stuff but in my mind as long you know that she is the one it doesn't matter about age. Good luck with it all mate.

 

[Goth Power]

Cheers guys, thanks for the encouragement

 

[St Helens RLFC]

Many congratulations Ben.

 

[SaintsFan_Webby]

Marriage is up to you so congratulations on that.

Personally I think kids are a different matter and unless you have the financial and social stability to support them then it is a bit unfair bringing them into the world.

If I were you I'd see how being a married couple goes first.

 

[sanzar]

Marriage! Bloody hell and you're only 18? As long as you're absolutely sure mate... otherwise I'd stress caution, I just came out of a 4 and a half year relationship that I thought would last forever, so just be mindful that things do change...

 

[O'Rothlain]

Marriage is up to you so congratulations on that.

Personally I think kids are a different matter and unless you have the financial and social stability to support them then it is a bit unfair bringing them into the world.

If I were you I'd see how being a married couple goes first.
[/b]

Marriage! Bloody hell and you're only 18? As long as you're absolutely sure mate... otherwise I'd stress caution, I just came out of a 4 and a half year relationship that I thought would last forever, so just be mindful that things do change...
[/b]

Firstly, Congratulations, this is a special time in anyones life! I would definetely take heed of the above two statements. I've been married for over four years now, and my wife and I separated for close to 5 months this summer. We're back together, and are working hard to make each other happy...it isn't always easy (uhm, okay...very rarely is easy). Marriage is tough, it's a choice and it's a commitment. People change, scenarios change, and time adds on baggage...if you have a love that can transcend the pits of hell, then plow forward my man, and enjoy the good life.
Please do watch Old School first, though.
I wish you the best!

Bail ó Dhia ort!

 

[Rugby_Cymru]

Marriage is tough...
[/b]

I've always enjoyed that expression.
I mean, if marriage is tough then why do it?
Why not just commit yourself to one another with a knowing wink or a nod of the head instead of spending thousands on a ceremony where people you don't know will turn up and waste tons of food you paid loads for.
Don't get married and things will always stay easy.

I'm sure that's not the case, but 10 months being my longest long-term relationship...who am i to comment?

Oh, a big congratulations by the way.

If you're like my then f*** the consequences and live in the now. If that feels right to you then who is to judge you. Who's to say you WON'T be together in 40 years time?
No one!
Enjoy.

 

[nez]

congrats mate, hope everything goes well for you and your fiancee.

 

[getofmeland]

Well first thing is congratulations mate, but I will warn you like many others, you may have thought you have found your soul mate, but maybe have a long engagement and live with each other for a long period of time and when I say live I mean get a place on your own, you never know a person til you live with them...

Also remember that your gonna be under the thumb for life now...

 

[Goth Power]

I understand guys, thanks for the encouragement and the pointers but I really want to give it a go. And if it doesnt work then at least I can say I tried.

She means the world to me, and I couldn't give her up....not for a million quid.

 

[Rugby_Cymru]

She means the world to me, and I couldn't give her up....not for a million quid.
[/b]

Oh, come on.
A million quid?

Think how many women you could buy with that...and throw in a Ferrari as well!

I refuse to accept your comment as valid until you have a million quid sitting infront of you and you turn your back on it.

Foolish boy.

 

[DC]

I guess its congratulations, but for me i don't think it is the greatest of ideas to have kids.. i mean it costs so much to have kids, and unless you are absolutely sure about it, you'll screw your life up.. seriously.

I would rethink this decision and wait sometime, if youve been going for 1 year then start thinking about it, but 3 months hell thats not even long enough to consider wether it is love or infatuation.

I guess you've got to go with your heart..

 

[getofmeland]

I understand guys, thanks for the encouragement and the pointers but I really want to give it a go. And if it doesnt work then at least I can say I tried.

She means the world to me, and I couldn't give her up....not for a million quid. [/b]

Mate you have only been seeing her 3 months, I know someone who made that mistake, and basically got himself in such a state when she did the dirty on him, and i was left trying to sort it out, I am not saying dont do it, but dont put some much reliance so early on in a relationship... I personally thought I met my soul mate at the beginning of the year, I was with her for 6 months, then she dropped me like a piece of crap... I was devastated mate and it took me ages to get over it all.... I would even go to say that I am not over her now, and she has recently started to come back on the scene, my heart is saying yes but my brain says no, and in relationships you need both working...

You also need to talk to her to see how far she wants to go with you, set some relationship goals, like your first holiday on your own together, your 6 month anniversary, your 1 year anniversary, moving in together, living on your own with her (not at her parents)...

 

[Prestwick]

Congratulations!

 

[Goth Power]

We have talked about so many things we want in our future.

We want kids, a gothic wedding, a nice little house, 2 kids, etc

We talk all the time about what we want in our future, and we both agree and want the same things.

I know what you are saying about things and how they can just go ****!

But I trust this is it, and I am trying my best to keep it going for a very long time.

It wont work without hope, trust, and planning.

 

[captainamerica]

goth, haven't really spoken to you as i'm erratically on here but i stumbled upon your thread and i thought i'd throw in my two cents, which should be taken with a king-sized grain of salt because i am a human being and do not have all the answers.

i've been married nearly 6 years.
met her when i was 22, she was 19.
we were together 3 years before getting married, 1 of which (early on) was spent as a long distance relationship due to the magical immigration laws our countries (yours and mine) have.
we plan on having children someday.

so . . .

don't.

or rather, not yet.


marriage is fantastic.

i love my wife more than i ever thought i could love anything on this earth. and the love i have for her continues to grow and it's really great and strange and brilliant.

but to think that this wonderful commitment, that this chest-swelling bond would be wasted on two young people such as yourselves is even more puzzling. and offensive.

you're 18, she's 16.

now, i've never claimed to be the brightest bulb or the fastest to develop, but i'm hoping there's going to be a whole lotta life-altering experiences that will happen to both of you before you're 25.

unplanned, odd and formative things tend to happen between the ages of 20 - 25.
they just do.

some of which might include university, travelling and orgies.
changes might include ideals, goals and lifestyles.

if you can experience these together -- fantastic. that'll be a big test in your relationship.

but marriage isn't a test.
and it is not a public and concrete way to display love -- that's the stuff of american sitcoms.

it's very personal.
and for it to work, you both have got to have a better idea of yourselves, which (unfortunately in your current state of zealousness) only Time can do.

more than 18 (and 16) years on this silly earth can stamp on your being.

you've found each other -- that's a triumph in itself. well done.

you've been together 3 months (is that correct?) and i assume you're not living together?
if this is true, then that is just dumb. and needs to change.

and you want to have kids when she turns 17?
kids having kids . . .

well first off, you fool, where's the goddamn honeymoon? and balls to the notion that a honeymoon is a week in ibizia -- i'm still on my honeymoon.
when are you going to spend time with her, just her, get to know her, explore her?

how are you going to do that with a mewling cabbage-headed, **** and **** factory screaming it's lungs out?

be selfish. be selfish for and with her.
there is more to discover in the both of you than you can possibly understand.



goth, remember: please, take all that i've said with a huge grain of salt.
i'm american, and therefore prone to talk out of my ass.
i can be very full of ****.

i don't know you from adam, or what you and your life is like.
i don't know what you've been through, what you're going through, or what the future holds.

don't get married now. don't have kids now. there is no rush.

 

[sanzar]

Bingo CA. Especially the bit about between 20-25...
I thought we were in it for the long run at first, but I have changed a heck of a lot over the last few years while being at uni and working, travelling etc, and then the **** hit the fan 2 months ago...

I can't really go into detail, but my relationship fell in a heap within the space of about 2 weeks and I was subjected to emotional blackmail the likes of which you don't want to know about... It's pretty much been one of the most painful periods of my life as a result. You think you know everything about someone, but you don't... there are always things you'll never know. Anyway, CA is right, you have to live more before making such a big step because you both have a lot left to learn and I assure you that you really don't know eachother well enough to have kids.

 

[Ripper]

2 Kids? Nice House? As others have said, shouldn't you be doing something like getting an education or some training of some kind, moving out of the parents house and getting some sort of stabilty, before getting married, let alone having kids.