Things that you wouldn't hear..

[Fa'atau82]

This works like the 'scenes you'd like to see' or 'things you wouldn't hear..' from Mock the Week (a UK tv comedy show).

Example..

Scenes they cut from.. from Star Wars

- Luke.. i am your mother..
- These are not the illegal immigrants you are looking for..

or..

Things that you wouldn't hear.. in a nature documentary

- And here, we see the male and the female tigers mating.. and i.. have just cum in my pants.
- In this previously unexplored jungle area of asia, we have stumbled across 5 new species of ape type creature, possibly my in-laws..

You can choose your own topic.. just make it funny.

 

[Charles]

:cheers:

 

[Fa'atau82]

I'll start..

Things you wouldn't hear from.. the media..

- And here today, we are pleased to witness the turning on of the large hardon collider.
- And what a deserved win by England today, winning 1-0 against San Marino with a goal deflected off Michael Owen's backside.

Dropped ***les for bond films..

- Live and let wind
- Moonfinger
- Quantum of Solero
- Quantum of Soreass
- On her majesty's secret escort service
- Japseye

 

[candybum]

Things you wouldn't want to hear from your parents:
-...you are adopted

 

[Fa'atau82]

Things you wouldn't see in the Rugby World Cup..

- So here we are, after a gruelling tournament, it's gonna be Namibia or Uruguay becoming the new world champions..
- And the All Blacks are the new world champions..

 

[alexrugby]

I don't like when hear person asking another: Honey Are You OK!?? and the asked one is in such condition:

 

[Thingimubob]

Things you would hear from.... your Religious Education/Religious Studies teacher...

''If you fail this course, you're all Racists''
(My R.E. teacher DID say that...)

 

[alexrugby]

And how did you react?

You know, I had always been against religious abuse, and now I am.

This makes people to hate religion (even more or at all)

Religious movies are also somehow discomforting to watch

This is some kind of Religious abuse

Bad

 

[Sir Speedy]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Thingimubob @ Sep 19 2008, 03:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Things you would hear from.... your Religious Education/Religious Studies teacher...

''If you fail this course, you're all Racists''
(My R.E. teacher DID say that...)[/b]

:lol: Remind me of what my R.E. teacher said when someone asked him what the point of studying R.E. was:

"To stop you from becoming terrorists."

 

[alexrugby]

Oh Bush will like him (or her) as antiterrorist campaigns are his best

They will understand each other

 

[shtove]

You would never hear a hedge fund manager criticise the central bank as if it were made up of a bunch of fools, would you?

"He's nuts. They're nuts. They know nothing ... We have Armagedon!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWksEJQEYVU

This is a notorious live TV blow up, and the guy is a bullshitter. But he was right about the Armageddon bit - 13 months ago.

 

[alexrugby]

Hey shtove, nice to see you with traditional humor

I also dislike when girl tells you she is virgin and Is not ready for SEX

Hate Hate Hate Hate

I will never forget that night and that sexy girl who acted on my sex offer like this

 

[Gay-Guy]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LeksoRugby @ Sep 20 2008, 07:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Hey shtove, nice to see you with traditional humor

I also dislike when girl tells you she is virgin and Is not ready for SEX

Hate Hate Hate Hate

I will never forget that night and that sexy girl who acted on my sex offer like this

[/b]

Of course she would act like that you big boy you....

 

[alexrugby]

Aaaah, Hello GG how are you

Really you are right :cheers:

NOTICE: Say No TO Pedophylia

I am healthy male MULE

Hope no Police will get me this night :cheers: :cheers:

Cheers bro

 

[Haysie]

WHAT? Bloody hell Lekso, the language barrier is a fantastic thing isn't it haha...

Things you would never hear Dubya say :
My dedicated joint staff and myself have devised a well-constructed and thought-out invasion plan with a fool-proof exit strategy

 

[Fa'atau82]

Things you wouldn't hear Max Guazzini (Stade Francais owner) say..

- I hate pink. It's a girls colour. Next year, we won't be having sequins.
- I think i'll turn down that shirt sponsor deal from always ultra. I think we will go for Harley Davidson instead.
- I don't think theres anything wrong with the changes to the new kit. What's odd about bare ass chaps?
- Sorry lads, we are not going to spearmint rhino now after the quins game, we are having a nice cup of tea instead.

Things Niko Palamo might have said in the recent halftime talk for Samoa vs All Blacks..

- Remember, pass the ball down the line. The props on the wings are not getting enough service.
- Boys.. remember to scrum properly. Crouch, touch, pause, engage. Not, slouch, touch, pause, flounce.
- Backs.. you are fast and talented runners.. run like your mother is going to beat you.
- You are playing **** and you know it. Now, go suck the halftime breadfruit and grow some b*llocks.

 

[crookedson]

Something You wouldn't hear Gavin Henson say:

I took a long and hard look at myself and realized something, Looks aren't everything. I'm gonna put down the hair product, pick up the ball and stop living off past glory.

 

[alexrugby]

WHAT? Bloody hell Lekso, the language barrier is a fantastic thing isn't it haha...

Things you would never hear Dubya say :
My dedicated joint staff and myself have devised a well-constructed and thought-out invasion plan with a fool-proof exit strategy
[/quo



Hayse you own sense of humor and even more.

I dont want to hear that people are no more smiling

 

[crookedson]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LeksoRugby @ Sep 19 2008, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Aaaah, Hello GG how are you

Really you are right :cheers:

NOTICE: Say No TO Pedophylia

I am healthy male MULE

Hope no Police will get me this night :cheers: :cheers:

Cheers bro[/b]

lol you crack me up Lekso

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[Sir Speedy]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (crookedi @ Sep 21 2008, 01:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Something You wouldn't hear Gavin Henson say:

I took a long and hard look at myself and realized something, Looks aren't everything. I'm gonna put down the hair product, pick up the ball and stop living off past glory.[/b]

Missed the 6N then, did we?