Long journeys and evenings in hotel rooms gives one plenty of thinking time, and I need to do a brain dump. That is, after all, what the internet is for: the sharing of ideas, the bringing together of those with similar interests. And pornography.
So, um, well, fizz....Time alone leaves me pondering life's great questions. Why am I here, what's the point, why is happiness so bloody expensive? On paper, everything's cool. Good job, husband who thinks I'm wonderful, boss who tells me I'm superb, etc, etc. But the head and the heart don't speak the same language, and lonliness kicks in. Being alone just exacerbates that I guess.
And before anyone starts playing the smallest violin, this is a brain dump, not a plea. If everything stays in the kilner jars in my head, it gets shaken up and starts to explode. Which is messy to say the least. Here's as good a place as any.
Meeting people has never been easy for me; I wear my heart on my sleeve, and have the scars to prove it. I don't trust, I don't love and I'm intolerant. And quite probably intolerable! I spend ages working out what to say, what not to say, what potential reactions are. Over thinking, over analysing, and ending up paralysed.
Although one could easily get the impression that I think more than I do. Which isn't the case. But doing without thinking gets me into trouble, and often winds up making me feel cheap. Scratches the itch, but doesn't get close to curing the eczema.
By the way, if you're still reading this, for the love of the Gods, go and do something interesting! I'm tired, lonely and in desperate need of a hug. In a better mood, I'm more than happy to talk more about what I can do with a pair of handcuffs and a jar of vaseline, but right this minute I'm just going to fizz....
So, um, well, fizz....Time alone leaves me pondering life's great questions. Why am I here, what's the point, why is happiness so bloody expensive? On paper, everything's cool. Good job, husband who thinks I'm wonderful, boss who tells me I'm superb, etc, etc. But the head and the heart don't speak the same language, and lonliness kicks in. Being alone just exacerbates that I guess.
And before anyone starts playing the smallest violin, this is a brain dump, not a plea. If everything stays in the kilner jars in my head, it gets shaken up and starts to explode. Which is messy to say the least. Here's as good a place as any.
Meeting people has never been easy for me; I wear my heart on my sleeve, and have the scars to prove it. I don't trust, I don't love and I'm intolerant. And quite probably intolerable! I spend ages working out what to say, what not to say, what potential reactions are. Over thinking, over analysing, and ending up paralysed.
Although one could easily get the impression that I think more than I do. Which isn't the case. But doing without thinking gets me into trouble, and often winds up making me feel cheap. Scratches the itch, but doesn't get close to curing the eczema.
By the way, if you're still reading this, for the love of the Gods, go and do something interesting! I'm tired, lonely and in desperate need of a hug. In a better mood, I'm more than happy to talk more about what I can do with a pair of handcuffs and a jar of vaseline, but right this minute I'm just going to fizz....
