Girlfriends

[Bullitt]

See if you can spot the difference between these two statements:
( a ) "Those trousers make your backside look fat."
( b ) "You're a repellently obese old hag upon whom I am compelled to heap insults and derision - depressingly far removed from the, 'stupid, squeaky, pocket-sized English women,' who make up my vast catalogue of former lovers and to whom I might as well return right now as I hate everything about you."
Maybe the acoustics were really bad in the dining room, or something."

 

[St Helens RLFC]

I'd tell Margret to f**k right off!

 

[RoyalBlueStuey]

I seem to be branded ignorant for not being ready and poised to listen to my wife at any given point in time ...if we are at opposite ends of the house and I'm looking at Wilko teeing up his world cup winning drop goal...she'll just start talking and give me 'the look' when I turn round and say "I'm sorry, What?".

Other than that she's the ace-est thing on the planet.